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I also took the time to get a formal certificate as a "data science professional" so I'd feel like less of an imposter since people are looking to me to somewhat lead the charge in my former team's absence. Was a fun course, but again, would rather have folks back than try to wear their hats.

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I'm stoked to get to do what I do, but wish I had more folks to do it with :-(

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A little over a month ago, the overwhelming majority of my team was laid off due to our company (in the vacation and hospitality industry) being all but shut down due to the ongoing pandemic.

Since then I've been forced to dust off my coding skills and even learn a few new tricks. Currently holding down the fort for:
- 3 different flavors of "serverless" applications
- An autoscaling Kubernetes cluster
- Several machine learning applications in need of ongoing tuning

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I remember the first (only?) time I saw Battlefield Earth (I like sci fi, ok!?) and one line from John Travolta really bothered me.was about how Earth "with all its advanced technology" only lasted 9 minutes in an invasion.

Considering our solution to a viral outbreak, despite all our "advanced technology," is to merely limit contact and keep our distance ... I'm depressed and re-evaluating whether or not we're rally that advanced.

This is a weird level of burnout I've never experienced and with which I'm not prepared to cope.

Any advice?

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The freelancing is hard more because of work. Ever since shifting f/t to management I get maybe an hour a week to hack on code. But I'm still at a computer all day.

Coming home to hack on code just doesn't appeal to me. I end up spending 2 hours or so binging YouTube instead and never even open my IDE. :-(

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Speaking at conferences and freelancing on the side have both been huge parts of my life for the past decade. Now, though, I'm finding it harder to find joy in either.

The travel wears on me and, because I don't go as much as I used to (3-4 confs a year as opposed to 10-12) I'm less connected to my friends in the community. Makes and event more exhausting than refreshing and takes me away from my daughter.

Puts the current coronavirus scare into perspective for me. The idea of isolating my family from social interaction in the vent it becomes a widespread pandemic is hard.

Could I do it? Probably.

But I also realize I'm in a privileged situation where I have money and am a manager with a super lenient schedule and WFH policy. I could stay home indefinitely if necessary.

Few others can say that.

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At work today. With a cold. Everyone keeps telling me to go home.

I feel guilty for being here. That said ...

I live with a toddler and a senior citizen, the latter of which has no health coverage and goes to free clinics to get medical care. I'd feel even more guilty if I stayed home. Particularly if either of them were to catch it.

Instead, sequestering myself in a conf room with hot tea and Lysol to wipe things down afterwards.

The first time I heard the term "digital experience platform" it was from an industry exec mocking a competitor's focus on being classified as such. They're argument: "it's such a phoney classification. It doesn't exist. Such a waste of time and resources."

Fast forward two years. Same executive is now speaking at events about building "digital experience platforms" and is a recognized thought leader in the space.

Life comes at you fast?

Never considered myself a 10x engineer at the time. Only in hindsight. As much as I hate that label, it's and accurate classifier of some engineers.

I keep searching them out and, when I find them, I will protect them with every fiber of my being.

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Wrote some code. It took me 90 mins to get things functional. Which is frustrating, because three-years-ago-me would've written the same code in less than an hour.

I fully understand there are some who would spend days on the problem and not get it. I'm not discounting how hard the work is. Just frustrated that my shift into management has resulted in my "code muscle" losing some of its tone.

Better run today on an elliptical. Still getting back to my pace. A little improvement each day helps.

The more I read and study, and the more experience I gain working with various communities, the more I realize I harbor several ideals that aren't shared by others in my position.

It's eye opening and frustrating at the same time.

Common sense isn't common, y'all.

Things that feel like obvious, empathetic, I-care-for-those-around-me are seen as alien standards to which others struggle to relate.

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